and then there were blogs...and tennis balls !

For someone who loves writing and has more soap boxes than the average launderette I'm finding it surprisingly difficult to get going with my first post ! So.....bear with me folks until the literary juices start flowing.....I've been bringing up four children for far too long and my brain appears to have shrunk somewhat!

On the subject of bringing up children (aaaaand she's off I hear my husband and friends say at this point!!) I ran a Job Search course for a group of parents at a children's centre in South London the other day. We were due to start at 9.30am and having worked in Children's Centres and Sure Start since their introduction in around 2002 I was quite prepared for the late start due to parents settling their children in the creche (or perhaps it was the other way around and the children were waiting for their parents to settle!). Eventually at about 10am we all sat down and I was struck by two women in particular. Their bodies were in the room but their hearts and minds most definitely were nowhere to be seen......they had slipped back into the creche with their little ones.

Being a mum of four myself (all boys aged 23, 13, 5 & 2 - more about them another time !) I totally understood where they were coming from. It is so hard when you've never left your child with someone else. We talked for a good amount of time about how good it was for the children to learn to be with other people, how it would improve their confidence and language skills and how by taking time for themselves it would help them be better mothers. Obviously it all fell on deaf ears !

As a trainer, I realised that I had to find a way of getting those mums in the room with their minds as well as their bodies. I'm a true believer that training should be fun as well as informative so the tennis balls came out and a rather raucous round of group juggling ensued. Eight worried mums, minds in another room were warned that if they didn't concentrate they WOULD get hit by a ball. They looked a bit bemused (as do a lot of people on my courses !!!!) but decided they valued their safety and started becoming more aware of what was going on in our room rather than the creche.

I only wish I could have bottled the sound of their laughter and the complete abandonment of any sense of being a 'grown up'. For a few minutes they were all thinking of nothing else but having fun and being themselves....not someones mum or someones wife, or sister or friend....just being there, in the moment and not thinking about anything other than NOT getting hit by a flying tennis ball. Its so important that we all have those times. The benefits of returning to work for a parent go beyond the financial incentive (when there is one!)......its about reclaiming a little bit of 'me' time - being able to have a lunch break, being able to gossip in the office kitchen or perhaps even getting the time to post a blog on the quiet !

So - here's to all the parents who are being brave - leaving their children in the capable hands of childcare professionals in the hope of bringing something new into their lives.......and also to the children who are learning to trust that mum or dad WILL return after leaving them and that actually they may have loads of fun while they are away !